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Surprising EQ Study

At the end of Ch 2.2, I asked the question:
How Self-Aware are you?

According to this study, almost all of us tend to overestimate our self-awareness and the corresponding impact.

In our LQ360 assessment, this is pivotal. We ask leaders to rate their intention or perception of their behaviors and then we can discover where they may have blind spots.
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Your Lens

Everyone sees life through their own lens - which has been shaped by their wiring, experiences, learned behaviors, and values.

How aware are you of your thought patterns, belief systems, and internal narratives? What shaped your particular lens?

Biases & Distortions

Prior events and experiences have taught us lessons that have created preferences and perceptions. We all have biases; strongly held beliefs and perspectives.

The greater question for self-awareness is:
Do any of those biases cloud our thinking to a level of Cognitive Distortion?

Impact

How have your perceptions and interpretations impacted your personal and professional interactions?

Where has it helped? Where might it be negatively impacting you?

Recognize

Regular reflection in self-awareness (Mindfulness) promotes real-time recognition. Individuals can assess their triggers, decisions, actions, and reactions in different situations. This leads to better behavioral regulation and is essential in making conscious and intentional choices.

Regulate

When faced with dysregulation, whether due to stress, pressure, or unexpected events, leaders understand the need to regain composure. They engage in self-awareness practices, acknowledging their emotional state and its potential impact on their decision-making.

By employing regulating techniques, leaders can regain control over their emotions. This emotional regulation not only enhances their own well-being but also positively influences the work environment. Clear-headed leaders are better equipped to analyze situations objectively, foster collaboration, and make decisions that benefit both individuals and the overall success of their teams or organizations.

The two significant areas we focus on regulating are:
1. Solving the issue or problem that caused the event AND
2. Applying techniques to process or dissipate the hijack.

Reframing

Reframing refers to changing the way information is perceived or interpreted; shifting your perspective or mental framework to view a situation or problem from a different angle.

Through a process or interacting with other people, it allows leaders to discover alternative meanings, interpretations, or solutions, often leading to a more positive or constructive outlook.

Reframing is a valuable tool in helping to break free from negative thought patterns (fixed mindset) and develop a more adaptive and resilient mindset by adjusting how challenges or experiences are perceived.

Lessening the flooding

You can’t regulate what you don’t recognize. Once you have identified what it was that triggered your amygdala attack, you will be better able to regulate it when it happens again. When it does, say to yourself “I am feeling triggered right now.” This will allow you to deactivate the amygdala and re-engage your frontal lobe for reasoning.

Pattern Interrupt

Interrupting negative thought patterns helps leaders regulate their emotions.
If a leader tends to catastrophize situations or engage in negative sentiment override (NSO), a pattern interrupt can pause the process long enough to break that cycle, allowing the leader to shift to a more constructive and positive mindset(PSO).
As we said earlier, this can prevent leaders from being overwhelmed by emotions, allowing them to think more clearly and respond more calmly and thoughtfully to challenging situations.

Solve the Problem

One of the first aspects we focus on is: Can we solve the problem or issue? If we can, then the stress and corresponding emotions go away.
In the video, I referred to HALT. The HALT method is a simple self-help strategy to check in with yourself to look for a simple and quick solution to being dysregulated. HALT stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. I additionally added Hurting. Solving your basic needs can go a long way to staying regulated.

For other issues or problems, here are a few quick tips for critical thinking:
● Identify the problem
● Identify the contributing factors and root cause
● Identify possible options
● Align with others on the best possible solution at this moment

Process the emotion

When we can’t readily solve the issue at hand, it’s time to process the emotion and lessen the flooding. Learning to incorporate coping skills, such as mindfulness and stress management, can take time and conscious effort. But it needs to become part of your daily practices.

Here are some things you can do to help you cope:

● Name your trigger
● Breathe
● Practice Mindfulness
● Put yourself in timeout

Promoting Positive Emotions

Also known as Positive Sentiment Override! Positive emotions play an important role in a successful, productive workplace. They, like negative emotions, are contagious for a team. If the leader is optimistic, it sets the tone for the entire team.

WIN THE BATTLE IN THE MIND

● Seek to understand
● Empathize
● Identify any cognitive distortions
● Am I making this situation more than it is? Worse than it is?
● Examine the Evidence
● Fact vs Opinion
● NSO? Negative Sentiment Override?
● Survey Method

Cognitive Corrections

Learn to Read the Room

Here are some tips for learning to “read the room” in meetings.

If you can be the first one in the room, read everyone coming into the room and just make a note of what their nonverbal cues are saying.

ELEVATE YOUR EQ

Be the best version of yourself always growing in EQ.

Master your own Self-Awareness & Self-Management first! Follow through and implement your plan! Repeat the process of Recognize, Regulate, and Reframe upon emotional reactions.

Empathize: Can you see things from another viewpoint?

PREPARE / PREGAME

How to invest in others and build relationship currency up front!

When we understand others in context, genuinely care about their personal lives, and use empathy to see from their lens, then we can prepare. Pregaming starts with learning how people interact with others, we can create intentionally directed action steps to perform daily, routinely, and in specific situations.

What meetings or events do I have coming up over the next few weeks that are critical to our operational function?

Can I invest in others up front to ensure we have a relationship?

Pattern Interupt & Lesson The Flooding

Interrupting negative thought patterns helps leaders regulate their emotions.
If a leader tends to catastrophize situations or engage in negative sentiment override (NSO), a pattern interrupt can pause the process long enough to break that cycle, allowing the leader to shift to a more constructive and positive mindset(PSO).
As we said earlier, this can prevent leaders from being overwhelmed by emotions, allowing them to think more clearly and respond more calmly and thoughtfully to challenging situations.

You can’t regulate what you don’t recognize. Once you have identified what it was that triggered your amygdala attack, you will be better able to regulate it when it happens again. When it does, say to yourself “I am feeling triggered right now.” This will allow you to deactivate the amygdala and re-engage your frontal lobe for reasoning.